Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize