I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
