i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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