I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize