can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
3 2 1 whiskey
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
