So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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