Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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