I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
