Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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