We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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