you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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