So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
