just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
