this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
