Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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