In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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