After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
