I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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