we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
