I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
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