i was born a porn star she said
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
