oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
