I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
