She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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