dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
