The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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