I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
