Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
