I just made out with a guy for $7.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
