i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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