I accidentally burped into my bong.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have fence marks all over my body
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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