Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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