you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
my poor anus
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
