And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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