if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
