all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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