Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
