Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
