Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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