it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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