guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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