She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
