got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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