Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
