is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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