so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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