hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
