if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
