that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
