My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
