How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I woke up under a house in Key West
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
