is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
