I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Found the puke drawer
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
