I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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