watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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