gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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