Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
