i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
