I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
