You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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