your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
