if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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