No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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