Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize