Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize