God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
try to milk me bitch
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
