I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Terrible idea I love it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
